Save You
by AllThingsAnime123
Summary: What can I say? I'm getting hooked on SiriusxRemus x3 SirixRem ONESHOT, idea based around Simple Plan - Save You. Simple Plan own the lyrics to the song, and J.K. owns the characters, the lucky woman xP Enjoy, please review! It'd make my day x


**Save You**

_**Take a breath..**_

_**I pull myself together..**_

I freeze on the spot outside the dreaded building. It was tall and intimidating, dark grey through the thick sleets of rain. It was the one place I feared above all others, apart possibly from my nightmare-filled dream world. But in the dream world, I could wake up. I could calm myself, tell myself it was all just some hell bound nightmare. But this place.. This place was reality. I couldn't blink and it would be gone. I tried, but there it remained, as cold and uninviting as ever. It was the one place that I had no wish to be anywhere near, but now I had no choice. Because _he_ was there, spending the rest of eternity laying flat out on a bed, oblivious to the world around him, tubes and wires stuck into him, counting down the days until he breathed his last. But I would be there when he did. No-one else could reach him like I could. If I could not break through to him, nobody could. But slowly, so slowly it pained me just to think about, he was slipping away.

I shivered violently as a wave of cold spread down my spine. I knew it had nothing to do with the rain. My breath came out in a shuddering gasp as I tried to regain my composure. I couldn't stand this place, couldn't stand the constant guilt. But he had nobody else.. Not anymore. I gulp past a lump in my throat, and urge my feet to move. As if nailed to the floor, simply lifting one foot and stepping forwards was a battle of its own. But nothing compared to the one he was fighting right now. I was trying to make myself enter the building, he was fighting for his life. But I had to take that one step. I had to reach him. Today had to be different. He had to wake up. He had to know how sorry I was..

The automatic doors slide open with a soft whooshing noise that becomes lost in the howl of the wind. My auburn hair flies into my face, shielding it from the sight of the inside. I brush it aside with a shaking hand, and step through the threshold. That's when the smell hits me. Ever since I'd become the monster, I'd always had a sensitive nose. As soon as I was through the doors and they'd closed behind me, the smell was stuck in my nostrils, swirling around my head. This place was so full of death. I could smell it thick in the air, mixed with the foul odour of medicine and chemicals. I reeled, my head spinning. My stomach lurched horribly as I staggered into one of the hard, plastic chairs of the waiting area. I dropped my aching head into shivering hands. Soon, my entire body was trembling. Any day now, I was expecting the smell of death to be fresher, carrying with it a faint scent of cut grass. His scent. This thought was too much for me to take, and I felt my vision blur. Suddenly furious with myself, I dug the heels of my hands into my eye sockets, hard. It stung, and I felt my eyes water anyway. Coloured blobs floated before me, flickering in and out of sight. My eyes ached as well as my head, but at least it had stopped me from crying. Because I wasn't going to. Not here. Not now. He'd always told me to be strong, but we'd both known deep down that he was the strong one. I was just the pathetic fucked up cry baby.

"Remus..?" A gentle voice shook me from my thoughts.

I looked up and found myself staring into the face of a nurse I'd seen a fair few times during my frequent visits to the awful building; the hospital. Her dark brown hair was drawn into a bun at the back of her head, but thanks to hours of work, small tufts had begun to fall out of place. Her skin was pale and pinched, like she'd not had enough sleep in a while. I knew I looked much worse off than she did, so I didn't make a comment. However tired or drained she was though, her emerald green eyes still had a spark of life. Mine used to. Until the incident. I haven't even been able to smile since. That happy flame that had glowed within me was long gone. She looks sympathetically at me, and manages a weak smile. I can tell she pities me, almost all of the hospital staff do.

"Are you here to see..?"

Unable to speak, I quickly nodded. I couldn't stand to hear her say his name, I'd had to stop her. It was far too painful. I knew that if she had spoken his beloved name, I would have broken down there and then. And knowing how unpredictable my mood could become when I felt despair, it could turn to anger. This would mean the wolf blood would make an appearance, and that I was not going to let happen. I didn't want any more people to end up hurting and on the brink of death because of one stupid teenage child. She seemed to understand I couldn't hear the name, but of course she didn't know the full reason. Her look of sympathy increased, and she made no attempt to hide it. Instead of speaking, she beckoned for me to stand. I did so, even though my knees threatened to give way. They were shaking again, and I couldn't stop them this time. They buckled and I fell forwards, almost knocking the kind nurse over in the process. But she remained calm about it, and supported me until my legs had stopped shaking. It took almost ten minutes, because every time I thought about walking, I remembered where I'd be walking to. His room. The place I wanted to be and yet the one I couldn't stand being in.

After my shaking fit, she led me carefully over to the reception desk, and handed me a bottle of water from the woman sitting there. At first she looked miffed, then she saw who I was. Her expression of pity and sympathy mirrored the nurses' beside me almost exactly. I gave her a small nod of thanks. My throat had constricted, and it was taking all of my will power not to cry there and then. So I couldn't speak. I took the water, and allowed some of it to trickle down my throat. It made me feel slightly better, and I must have looked a little more perked up because both women started smiling.

The water had helped, but now I was starting to feel sick again. I now had to go up to his room, and that was going to be one hell of a walk. I put the water back on the reception desk and turned back to the nurse.

"One moment, Remus."

I turned back, and saw with shock that the receptionist was extending a full bottle of water to me. I looked at her, and she pushed her arm further forwards. Blinking in confusion, I took the bottle. She smiled, then went back to her work. I placed the water into my pocket, and mouthed the words 'Thank you' to her. I'm not sure if she saw, but I'm pretty certain she smiled a little more afterwards.

If only I could smile.

I held back an almighty sigh, and wheeled back around to face the nurse. She gave me what she hoped was a reassuring pat on the back.

"You know where to go, sweetie.." She said softly.

Yes. I knew far too well.

_**Just another step..**_

_**Until I reach the door..**_

My legs began to feel like jelly again as I crossed the almost silent waiting area, heading for the series of lifts at the other end of the room. My wet trainers made loud squeaky noises as they slipped and slid on the over polished shiny white floor. The noises seemed to echo around the entire span of the room, sounding more like thousands of people were walking. But it was only me. I could feel the nurses' eyes on me as I carried on, and I gripped the water bottle in my pocket. The sensation of the cold against my clammy skin made me feel better, if only by a margin. I was full of gratitude for the kind receptionist. What I didn't understand though, was _why_ they were so nice to me. Maybe they felt sorry for me. They probably thought it was difficult for poor little Remus, his best friend spending the rest of his days in a coma, no-one sure about whether or not he'd be waking up.

A lift arrived, and two doctors and a nurse filed out. I winced as they passed by, as each of them stopped in whatever they had been discussing beforehand to throw me a sympathetic glance. One of the doctors even reached across and squeezed my shoulder. As I continued to walk away, I heard the nurse say in an anguished voice that it was amazing how I was being so brave through all of this. I felt like crying even more at that moment. They didn't understand.. I wasn't being brave. I was guilty.

I pressed a button to summon one of the lifts. Within seconds, it arrived with a ping. With another sigh that seemed to rock my entire body, I stepped inside the metal cage and prodded the button for the top floor. This was where I should spend the rest of my life. Not in a lift in a hospital, in a cage. Where I can't hurt anybody anymore. I closed my eyes as the lift juddered and began to move upwards. Thinking about living in a cage like the monster I was made me almost break down. Not because I'd be treated like an animal, which I was, but because I'd never see him again.

The lift came to a halt at the next floor up, and a young doctor stepped in. I'd seen him a couple of times before. He carried a lot of papers in his arms, and had his eyes fixed on them. He was muttering under his breath. He didn't seem to notice me standing there. I liked it that way. I slunk into the corner and waited for the lift to climb to the next floor up. I didn't deserve any of the sympathy I'd been given. I was a monster, a murderer. I was the one who should have been lying in that hospital bed having machines monitor my breathing, not him. All he'd ever done for me was to try and stop my pain, or at least ease it. And this was how I repaid him..

The lift shuddered to a halt again, and the doors slid open almost silently. I stepped out of my corner, and exited the lift. The hallway stretching out from the lift was completely deserted. Several rooms branched off of the corridor, and at the very end was a large window. Through it I could see the storm outside still raging. At the end of the corridor, it split into two different directions, leading to similar rooms full of dying people. The feeling of death and despair in this place in particular was worse than the whole hospital combined. I choked from the pain of it all, and felt another sliver of cold slip down my spine.

"Take care of yourself, Remus."

I jumped, and whirled around. The doors were sliding shut again, but not before I caught a glimpse of the young man's sad smile. No! I didn't deserve this! Take it back! Take it all back! I don't want it, I don't need it! I don't deserve such friendly welcomes, or to be worried about! Why didn't they understand?! I was a monster, a complete and total monster!

I could feel my wolf blood boiling and raging within me. All I wanted to do was hurt and destroy. It didn't matter who and it didn't matter how. I needed out of this place. I'd had enough of all the smiles and the sympathy. I didn't deserve it. He did, but I didn't see anyone giving him sympathy. Just because I was the only one who still came to see him, didn't mean I was brave. It meant I was stupid and longing, even though James and Peter had both given up hope months ago.

I collapsed on my knees, colliding painfully with the hard floor. My jeans were soaking wet from the rain, and felt horrible cold against my skin. I could have lost control right there, but something triggered in the back of my mind. The last time I'd gotten this bad..

~*~

_I kneeled on the floor sobbing, the tears rolling down my cheeks and exploding after hitting the floor. I knew he was there behind me, watching. He didn't say anything, just watched. But I knew nothing he could say would make me forget about this. My life was a living hell, and what I'd just done had made it even worse. I could never forgive myself._

"_Remus.." His voice is gentle and soft._

"_Go away!" I shout, tears still falling thick and fast down my face._

"_What good will that do..?" He whispered. He was kneeling behind me._

"_I might hurt you.. Go away.."_

"_Remus.. He's going to be okay.." I could hear a bite in his voice. This annoyed me even more._

"_But I'm not!" Anger now replaced my depression. "Don't you get it?! He could have died, all because of me!"_

"_No, Rem. Because of me. I was the one who told the stupid git to follow you."_

"_But I was the one who attacked –"_

"_He's going to be okay. He's going to live. You didn't hit any vitals, thanks to James."_

"_I'm a monster.. Why do you want to spend so much time with a monster..?"_

_He turned me around and made me look him in the eye. His black orbs were radiating a deep emotion I'd only seen when we were totally alone together. He cupped my face in his hands, and used his thumbs to wipe away my tears. _

"_You're not a monster. What would make you a monster is if you got pleasure out of hurting him, which I sure as hell would have. If anything Rem, I'm the monster here. I told him to follow you, I hoped he'd get good and hurt. But you're a good person, Remus Lupin. You'd never enjoy hurting anything or anyone, I know that much. And that is what makes you the complete opposite of a monster."_

_~*~_

But how could he possibly believe that now..? After what had happened..? It took me a few moments to realise I was crying. I wiped the tears away from my face, and stood up. Snape had been lucky. James had come to save him. But nobody had been there to save Sirius.. I managed to stop myself from crying this time by clenching my fists so tightly, my nails cut into my palm, dripping blood. Now my hands stung, but what did it matter? I did much worse on the night of the full moon, what difference would a few little nail marks make?

I breathed deeply, and walked down the corridor a little. When I reached the fifth door on the left, I froze, just like outside the hospital. My hand was reaching out for the door knob, but I just couldn't make myself grab it and open the door. I didn't want to see him in that state, but he needed me to reach out for him. What if I walked in and he was already..? No. I can't think like that. It was that kind of thinking that made James and Peter lose hope. After the second month of him being in the same condition, they couldn't handle it anymore. Lily visited a few times, but only with James. Once he stopped, so did she. So I was left alone. I wasn't ready to give up on him just yet. He meant far more to me than any of the others, and I knew he felt the same away about me. I couldn't let him go, not now.

So, with that thought in my mind, I turned the handle and drifted into the room.

_**You'll never know the way..**_

_**It tears me up inside to see you..**_

I honestly don't know how much longer I can keep doing this..

He was laying there, totally immobile. The only sounds in the room were my slow breathing, and the beeping of the machine attached to his arm. His black hair was longer than ever, bound in greasy clumps as it hadn't been washed for months on end. His eyes were closed, and his skin was pale. Had it not been for the heart monitor next to him, I would have been certain he was dead. I saw the bandages covering both of his arms, and several around his neck. A horrible looking purple and black bruise had blossomed on his forehead, and one of his eyes was black. Uncovered scratches and grazes littered his face, neck and his shoulders. Everything else was covered in white bandage. On the arm closest to me, I saw pinpricks of red blood seeping through the deep cuts. A warm looking blanket covered the rest of his body, but I knew it was in a similar state to the parts I could see.

My heart was breaking.. I was the one who'd done this to him..

_**I wish that I could tell you something..**_

_**To take it all away..**_

Sometimes, in my most crazed moments of my visits, I'd wonder if it would just be less cruel to pull out the socket powering his life machine. He'd be out of his pain, free to drift away to worlds unknown. Who knows what happens when you die? All I wanted was for him to be out of his pain, to get out of his constant fight for life. I wanted to take away his pain.. I didn't want him to suffer anymore..

One time, I'd been standing there with my hand clutched around the cable, when James had walked in, yelled and basically tackled me down to the ground. He'd screamed at me for hours afterwards, saying how he couldn't believe I'd be so selfish to try and stop Sirius' chances of pulling through like that, that he'd make it and all we had to do was wait for him. His words meant nothing to himself though. A mere week after this, he'd stopped visiting altogether.

My eyes water as I peer over his out cold form. As the first tears dripped out of my eyes and splattered onto the floor, I clenched my fists at my sides, my entire body trembling once more.

"I love you.." I whispered to the air.

_**Sometimes I wish I could save you..**_

_**And there's so many things that I want you to know..**_

_**I won't give up till it's over..**_

_**If it takes you forever, I want you to know..**_

I slide into the plastic chair that sat next to his bed. The back was hard and incredibly uncomfortable. I shifted many times, the plastic freezing cold, but it didn't help. I draw my legs up to my chest and hug them for extra warmth, eyes glued on his supposedly sleeping figure. He looked so peaceful.. Much more than he did when he was awake. I wished there would be a time when he would wake again. But that chance was quickly getting slimmer and slimmer. I knew the doctors were thinking about shutting down his life machine. His family had basically disowned him, and as they were wizards, the Muggle doctors couldn't exactly call around and ask their permission to send their eldest son to his grave. If his mother had known, I was pretty sure she'd skip over and turn him out of the window. I hated her. I couldn't stand being near her. Every time I saw her, I wanted to sink my fangs into her mortal flesh and rip her apart. But that would land me in Azkaban. And that place was my worst living nightmare, apart from this hospital room.

I couldn't let the wizards of our world find out about Sirius. Sure, they could fix him up a lot faster than the Muggles could, but they would certainly arrest me for landing Sirius in this life threatening situation in the first place. I was scared. I didn't want to go to Azkaban. Not because of the Dememtors. Don't get me wrong, they terrify me as much as the next person, but it'd be the distance between myself and Sirius that would kill me.

So I had to wait for him to wake up on his own, with no magical help.

My hand reaches forwards and grips his. His skin feels horribly cold, but there are traces of warmth higher up his arm; I run my finger up and down the undamaged parts to check. How I longed to see him twitch and awake from his long sleep. How many months I'd sat here, craving him to wake up and melt into those coal black eyes of his. Every second of my day was taken up remembering what it felt like to hug him and feel him holding me just as tightly, or how it felt to kiss him.

I was willing to wait until forever for him.

If it meant we could go back to how we were before all of this, I'd wait for the rest of eternity.

Because I loved him. I needed him. But right now, he needed me. And I sure as hell wasn't giving up unless he did first.

_**When I hear your voice..**_

_**It's drowning in the whispers..**_

_**You're just skin and bones..**_

_**There's nothing left to take..**_

_**And no matter what I do..**_

_**I can't make you feel better..**_

_**If only I could find the answer..**_

_**To help me understand..**_

I stroked his hand with my thumb ever so softly, tucking a loose stand of his hair behind his ear as I did so.

"Wow.. This is really greasy Siri.." I mumbled. "You better straight into a shower when you wake up.." The corners of my mouth twitched upwards for a moment as I thought about what his response would be. Something along the lines of 'Only if you're with me'.

Whenever he made jokes like that, my stomach would knot up in tension. I knew he had a reputation for sleeping with just about every girl in Hogwarts, and I was terrified he'd be expecting similar things from me. But he always knew when to stop. It was like he could sense I was uncomfortable with something he had done, or had suggested, and he would apologise, kiss me, then we'd forget all about it. He would never pressurise me to do things before I was fully ready, and he would always confirm that I was triply certain I was ready before going any further.

My eyes sweep over him once more, and my heart jolts. I couldn't get rid of the images in my head. The way he'd just laid there, sprawled on the floor, blood gushing everywhere. The way his eyes were dull and unfocused. The way he was barely breathing. The way I watched as his skin slowly paled as more and more blood flowed at my feet. I screwed my eyes together, but the tears still leaked out. It was all my fault... He'd just been trying to help...

It had been a bad day.. It was the night before the full moon, and my temper was quicker to snap than usual. It was the last day of school, and I was packing up my trunk, ready to spend a wonderful summer lazing about with the boy I loved. But I hadn't been thinking of that at the time. What I had been thinking of was how Sirius had basically blanked me all the way through the feast, and was instead talking to a group of his fangirls. Even when I'd poked him hard in the back with my spoon, he just waved a hand at me, and went on talking. So I'd stormed up to the dormitory, and started packing my trunk. About ten minutes later, I'd decided to go for a walk to clear my head. I'd reached the top of the marble staircase, just as Sirius appeared up it. He had demanded to know why I had acted like a spoilt brat, and walked out on him during the meal. I had explained the way I'd felt and how hurt his actions had made me, and he laughed. He just laughed. That had been what made me snap. Without thinking, without getting a grip on myself, I punched him. His footing slipped on the marble, and he'd gone tumbling back down the stairs. Realising how grave my mistake was, I'd raced after him. At first, when I saw him laying spread eagled on the floor, I thought he was messing about. Playing a joke to get me back for what I'd done. But then I saw the blood..

I begin to sob as the memories I'd tried so hard to keep hidden came floating back to the surface. Dumbledore had taken him to a Muggle hospital, and me, James, Peter and sometimes Lily visited on a daily basis. Two months later, Sirius still hadn't woken up, and the others abandoned all hope. But not me. One month later, and I was still clinging to desperation, the constant longing that he'd open his eyes and be my Sirius.

But I doubted he'd want anything to do with me after this.

Even so, I wanted nothing more than for him to just wake up. It broke my heart, to come here every day and find him exactly as I had left him all those months before. Even if he dumped me and told me he never wanted to see me again, sure I'd be depressed for the rest of my freakin' life, but I'd be happy that he'd made it.

I just felt so useless, sitting here, day after day, unable to help him get any better..

If only I could find a way to wake him up..

If only I could be the one to save him..

_**Sometimes I wish I could save you..**_

_**And there's so many things that I want you to know..**_

_**I won't give up till it's over..**_

_**If it takes you forever, I want you to know..**_

_**That if you fall..**_

_**Stumble down..**_

_**I'll pick you up off the ground..**_

_**If you lose faith in you..**_

_**I'll give you strength to pull through..**_

_**Tell me you won't give up..**_

_**'Cos I'll be waiting if you fall..**_

_**You know..**_

_**I'll be there for you..**_

"Wake up.." I begged, tears still streaming down my face. Fuck self control, the boy I loved was dying.

He looked so peaceful.. Like he had already gone and the machine was beeping away regardless. Tormenting me with its lies. With the false hope that he would wake up. What if he didn't wake up..? What was I going to do..? I couldn't live without him, I knew that much. I needed him to survive. He was a part of me..

If he died, I think.. I think I would too..

I wouldn't want to live anymore. Not if the one person who made me complete was gone forever. I'd want to follow him, to be with him for the rest of eternity. If I couldn't be with him in life, I'd be with him in death. Death would never be able to separate us, but life could. If it did, I would follow him.

But.. What if by some miracle, he didn't die..?

He'd need a helluva lot of support, I knew that much. It would take him a while to be steady on his feet again, but I knew deep down that no matter what, I would always be there to help him. Whenever he was in trouble at Hogwarts, I'd help to bail him out. If he had bitten off more than he could chew in a fight, I always had his back. When the first girlfriend that he'd actually given a damn about used him and dumped him, I was there to pick up the pieces. James and Peter would try, but they just couldn't understand him. But I could. We had both grown up being despised by our families, living with their constant shame. We both knew what it was like to be alone. And that, more than anything, is what drew us together. And eventually, that led to feelings more complicated and involved than we were able to understand.

My stomach churns as I remember our first kiss. It had been during a Halloween party in the common room. I had begun to get agitated by all the people shoving me about, and was ready to shove the next person who did through a window. Luckily, Sirius realised what was going on, grabbed me and dragged me upstairs to our dormitory. There, we had spoken happily with one another about the years gone by, and all the fun times we had shared. Sirius had then told me he was going to try something, and before I could ask what, he kissed me. I remember vividly the smile he had given me when instead of totally freaking out, I'd kissed him back. That smile packed more emotion than I had ever seen in Sirius before, and his eyes seemed to sparkle in the darkness. I knew he was finally truly happy.

I smile to myself, despite the horrific situation we were now in. I was terrified of losing him to death, but that wasn't I was most afraid of. If he died, I had the chance to follow him. If he lived, but blamed me for the incident, as he rightly should, he would probably never want to be near me again. He would realise that I had been right all along; that I was a monster who he should never have gotten close to. If he chose that, there would be nothing I could do to change his mind. And I wouldn't try to. It was completely my fault that he was like this in the first place, so why should I try and convince him otherwise? If he had never gotten so close to me, he never would have had the accident.

I rub my thumb up and down his hand, trying to calm myself.

"I never stop thinking about you, you know.." I whisper softly. The nurses had told me once that even though he was in a coma, he could hear things going on around him, and maybe my voice would break through. It was worth a shot. I had never tried it before, apart from the occasional 'I love you', or 'Wake up', for fear I would be bitterly disappointed. But what did I have to lose..? My hope was already fading.. "You're even in my dreams. And even then, you can keep the wolf at bay.. You're amazing, Sirius.. You're an incredible person, and I don't deserve to be anywhere near you. I mean, look at what I did.."

I stop here to sniff, but don't bother to try and wipe away the tears that now cascade down my face.

"All you've ever done is support me, and make me feel better about what I am. About the monster I've become. About the monster I'm going to be for the rest of my life.. But you don't have to be there for that. I know that you're not going to stay with me forever.. Who'd want to? But I can't remember ever being so happy, even before the bite.. You've made me the happiest I've ever been before.. So thank you.. But... I don't want to endanger your life anymore, Sirius.. I can understand that when you wake up, you wouldn't want to see me anymore, I wouldn't blame you.. All I ask is that you let me say goodbye before you shun me out forever.."

It takes all the self control I contain to stop myself sobbing. But I had to say this, he had to hear it. I knew he could.

"But.. If by some miracle, you don't hate me for the rest of your life.. I just want you to know that all the time you'll be mending, I'll be there for you.. I'll stay with you all the time, apart from my um.. monthly outings.. I'll stay by your side for the rest of my days, if that's how long it takes for you to get better.. I'll never leave you, Sirius. Never. If you have trouble walking, I'll support you. If you can't eat, I'll help you. Hell, I'll help you with everything you need me to. Just say the word. I want to save you from this hell you're going through, Sirius, in any way that I can.. I just hope and pray that you'll pull through.. Just don't give up.. Please... Don't give up.."

I can't talk anymore. My throat constricts, and I burst into hysterical sobs, crossing my arms on the mattress and burying my head into the blanket. My hand curls around his even tighter, and I begin to shake. The heart monitor's beeps are covered by my sobs, which seem to echo around the entire hallway. Sirius.. I need him.. I love him so much.. I can't lose him like this.. He can't leave me.. I won't let him..

_**If only I could find the answer..**_

_**To take it all away..**_

_**Sometimes I wish I could save you..**_

_**And there's so many things that I want you to know..**_

_**I won't give up till it's over..**_

_**If it takes you forever, I want you know..**_

I turn my head on the matress, looking up into the face of the boy I loved and adored. He continued to sleep, his chest rising and falling gently, the machine beeping every time he did so. His perfect mouth was curved into a slight frown. I couldn't get the picture of his scared, shocked expression as he fell out of my mind. It haunted me day and night, and I couldn't shake it off. But what else did I expect..?

"Remus..?"

I jump, and turn back to the doorway. The nurse from before is standing there, her eyes full of pain. She clutches a clipboard to her chest.

"Y..Yeah..?" I say, my voice shaking.

She takes a deep breath. "Visiting hours are over for today, sweetie.."

I nod slowly, showing her I understand. I stand, my legs wobbling dangerously again. With a deep breath, I turn to Sirius' sleeping form. I give his hand one last squeeze, then place it carefully back on the bed.

"I'll be back tomorrow.. I promise.. I love you.." I whisper, before doing something I'd never done before, and kissing him. His lips felt horribly cold and rough, but they were still Sirius'. And that was what mattered.

If the nurse was shocked by my display of affection, she didn't show it on her face as she stepped aside for me to pass by her. I was halfway out of the room when we both heard it. The beeping on the machine sped up.

_**I wish I could save you..**_

I instantly whirled around and sprinted back into the room. The machine's beeping wasn't slowing down. I gripped Sirius' hand to my chest tightly as tears began to fall thick and fast down my cheeks again.

"Sirius!!" I yelled. "SIRIUS!!!"

The nurse was frantically calling for doctors behind me, but her words were slurred. I couldn't understand what was going on. All I could see was Sirius.

Then, it was as if the world started moving in slow motion.

He twitched.

_**I want you to know..**_

At first, I thought I had imagined it. Then his eyelids flickered, before slowly opening. The heart monitor bleeped slower again, but my grip on his hand tightened.

"Is this a dream...?" I whispered, hardly daring to believe what was happening.

"...Rem..?" His voice is thick and groggy, but it's definately him.

I blinked, then my face split into an ecstatic beam. He was alive!! He was awake!! He was going to be okay!! I turned to the nurse, happy tears welling up in my eyes. She was already crying, her hands clasped across her mouth. Then the shock wore off, and she left the room to spread the happy news. I turned my head back to Sirius. He was smiling weakly back up at me, his eyes already beginning to regain their sparkle.

_**I wish I could save you..**_

"You're alive.." I gasped, the tears still speeding down my face. They exploded on our clasped hands, but neither of us mentioned it. Sirius continued to look up at me, his smile unfaltering.

"Thanks to you.." He said weakly.

"What did I do..? I'm the reason you're here.." I mumbled, taken aback by his words. To my surprise, his smile gained strength.

"You stood by me.. I was a prick.. My fault.. Not yours.. You didn't give up.. You.. You saved me, Rem.. In more ways than one.."


End file.
